Kapdoss is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, almighty snail.

Kapdoss created snails nine million years ago.

If you believe in Kapdoss, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kapdoss, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Kapdoss' most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Kapdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Do not eat onions.

3. Worship no other gods but Kapdoss.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Kapdoss must be the most important thing in your life.