Gigvonksig is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, selfish duck.

Gigvonksig created the cosmos nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gigvonksig, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gigvonksig, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Gigvonksig's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Gigvonksig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always help hamsters.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate horses.

4. Always treat porpoises with great respect.

5. Never think about cell theory.