Dunpomneg Ditcarhot is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, compassionate troll.

Dunpomneg Ditcarhot created a bottom quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Dunpomneg Ditcarhot, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Dunpomneg Ditcarhot, he will turn you into a snail.

Dunpomneg Ditcarhot's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Dunpomneg Ditcarhot's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into pink rooms.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Retreat if six ducks approach from the east.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dunpomneg Ditcarhot.