Janbestmit is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, competent wolf.

Janbestmit created oxygen two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Janbestmit, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Janbestmit, he will boil you in a big pot.

Janbestmit's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Janbestmit's Holy Commandments

1. Janbestmit loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not trade with those who eat bread.

5. Never sit near sharks.