Teenfitmap is a god.
It takes the form of an extremely fat, clever manatee.
Teenfitmap created the Sun five quadrillion years ago.
If you believe in Teenfitmap, it will be shocked.
If you do not believe in Teenfitmap, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.
Teenfitmap's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.
Teenfitmap's Holy Commandments
1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.
2. Grasshopers are not to be trusted.
3. Always help ducks in need.
4. Never go into violet rooms.
5. Respect your elders.