Sugkamwip is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, vain finch.

Sugkamwip created water two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sugkamwip, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sugkamwip, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Sugkamwip's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Sugkamwip's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. You must love Sugkamwip.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not hurt tapirs.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.