Arnyikkom is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, calm aardvark.

Arnyikkom created humankind three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arnyikkom, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Arnyikkom, he will turn you into a frog.

Arnyikkom's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Arnyikkom's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Worship no other gods but Arnyikkom.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. Never sit in the presence of porpoises.