Ominmilban is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, tranquil rhinoceros.

Ominmilban created everything that exists seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ominmilban, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Ominmilban, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Ominmilban's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Ominmilban's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear blue clothing.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not dye your hair cyan.

4. Put Ominmilban first in all things.

5. You must love Ominmilban.