Bifyartjan is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, all-powerful chinchilla.

Bifyartjan created snails nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bifyartjan, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bifyartjan, she will refuse to believe in you.

Bifyartjan's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Bifyartjan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Bifyartjan's name in vain.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never run near badgers.

4. Never wear blue shorts.

5. Always take life seriously.