Nartmutven Catfasgun is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, tiresome lizard.

Nartmutven Catfasgun created snails six billion years ago.

If you believe in Nartmutven Catfasgun, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nartmutven Catfasgun, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Nartmutven Catfasgun's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Nartmutven Catfasgun's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a room before entering it.

4. Always obey Nartmutven Catfasgun's priests.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.