Bonkvoljam is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, awesome eagle.

Bonkvoljam created dark energy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkvoljam, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bonkvoljam, it will curse you with boils.

Bonkvoljam's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Bonkvoljam's Holy Commandments

1. Always help frogs in need.

2. Never write about gravity.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always wear cyan.

5. Never talk about fire.