Garnegxucponyart is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, omnipotent goat.

Garnegxucponyart created water two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Garnegxucponyart, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Garnegxucponyart, it will not care.

Garnegxucponyart's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Garnegxucponyart's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed coconuts to aardvarks while wearing violet shorts.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not take Garnegxucponyart's name in vain.

5. Never write about cell theory.