Febwapgar is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, vain swan.

Febwapgar created a top quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Febwapgar, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Febwapgar, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Febwapgar's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Febwapgar's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Run away from yellow mites, for they are unholy.

3. Always help eagles in need.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Erect five silver sculptures of Febwapgar on top of important buildings.