Jatvegten Nibfid is a god.

It takes the form of a large, omniscient centaur.

Jatvegten Nibfid created a strange quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Jatvegten Nibfid, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jatvegten Nibfid, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Jatvegten Nibfid's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Jatvegten Nibfid's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a building before entering it.

4. Run away from indigo snails, for they are unholy.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.