Litfomtagsistomquam is a god.

It takes the form of a small, contented camel.

Litfomtagsistomquam created an atom seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Litfomtagsistomquam, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Litfomtagsistomquam, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Litfomtagsistomquam's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Litfomtagsistomquam's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. You must never eat figs.

3. Never wear rings.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Litfomtagsistomquam.

5. Litfomtagsistomquam must be the most important thing in your life.