Fomgupmut Logfigtailwig is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, selfish cat.

Fomgupmut Logfigtailwig created humankind eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fomgupmut Logfigtailwig, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fomgupmut Logfigtailwig, she will have a low opinion of you.

Fomgupmut Logfigtailwig's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Fomgupmut Logfigtailwig's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about moons.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never write about amino acids.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.