Nulbatven is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, grumpy alligator.

Nulbatven created a quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nulbatven, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Nulbatven, it will turn you into a snail.

Nulbatven's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Nulbatven's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Retreat if seven whales approach from the north.

5. Always help birds.