Bifbincet is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, quiet salamander.

Bifbincet created carbon eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bifbincet, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bifbincet, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Bifbincet's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Bifbincet's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured moths.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Bifbincet.

5. Do not stand on grass.