Tinsabquat is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unsympathetic gorilla.

Tinsabquat created dark matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tinsabquat, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Tinsabquat, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Tinsabquat's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Tinsabquat's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate manatees.

2. Never paint your neck pink.

3. Never feed oranges to badgers while wearing turquoise shorts.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not stand on grass.