Yarpquartkipwap is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, annoying dingo.

Yarpquartkipwap created the Sunflower Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Yarpquartkipwap, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Yarpquartkipwap, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Yarpquartkipwap's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Yarpquartkipwap's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Never eat bark.