Captambab is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, quiet ant.

Captambab created the universe three billion years ago.

If you believe in Captambab, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Captambab, he will try to impress you with trees.

Captambab's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Captambab's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Captambab.

2. Never talk about cell theory.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Captambab.

4. Captambab loves badgers, so they must be honoured.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.