Saksanpas is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, unthinking seal.

Saksanpas created an atom two million years ago.

If you believe in Saksanpas, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Saksanpas, it will turn you into a dog.

Saksanpas' most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Saksanpas' Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no ducks in a room before entering it.

2. Run away if nine birds approach from the east.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Fast once a month.