Fitwabzimfodbenquatpagtof is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, passionate turtle.

Fitwabzimfodbenquatpagtof created Africa eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitwabzimfodbenquatpagtof, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Fitwabzimfodbenquatpagtof, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Fitwabzimfodbenquatpagtof's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Fitwabzimfodbenquatpagtof's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never wear dresses.

3. Do not dye your hair gray.

4. Always wear magenta.

5. Always help sharks.