Zimafmum is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, generous lobster.

Zimafmum created a photon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimafmum, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Zimafmum, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Zimafmum's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Zimafmum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

2. Never talk about planets.

3. Do not kill hamsters.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Respect your elders.