Queegbonrill is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, contented swan.

Queegbonrill created Europe three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Queegbonrill, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Queegbonrill, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Queegbonrill's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Queegbonrill's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. You must never eat beans.

4. Worship no other gods but Queegbonrill.

5. You must pray to Queegbonrill four times a day.