Flamgephomtin is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, unselfish jackal.

Flamgephomtin created a top quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flamgephomtin, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Flamgephomtin, he will try to impress you with trees.

Flamgephomtin's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Flamgephomtin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your back.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ants.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not wear silver on your body.

5. Flamgephomtin loves tortoises, so they must be respected.