Flaptitgud is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, quiet octopus.

Flaptitgud created the planet Earth three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flaptitgud, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Flaptitgud, she will not care at all.

Flaptitgud's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Flaptitgud's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat peas.

2. Never think about cell theory.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Hide if three horses approach from the east.