Kikwod is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, sage crab.

Kikwod created a photon four billion years ago.

If you believe in Kikwod, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Kikwod, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Kikwod's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Kikwod's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a building before entering it.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never go into brown rooms.

5. Never wear shirts.