Yokkonvonk is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, unjust jackal.

Yokkonvonk created carbon three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yokkonvonk, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Yokkonvonk, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Yokkonvonk's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Yokkonvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate capybaras.

2. Put Yokkonvonk first in all things.

3. Never skip in the presence of swans.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.