Dibquartdad is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, pitiless salamander.

Dibquartdad created bats two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dibquartdad, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Dibquartdad, he will laugh at you.

Dibquartdad's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Dibquartdad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Always stare at clouds.