Legfudstaf is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, strong pig.

Legfudstaf created a charm quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Legfudstaf, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Legfudstaf, she will torture you forever.

Legfudstaf's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Legfudstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Always help pigs in need.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never talk about fire.