Quartgempit is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, amazing dolphin.

Quartgempit created a down quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartgempit, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Quartgempit, it will think nothing of it.

Quartgempit's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Quartgempit's Holy Commandments

1. Quartgempit loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

3. Do not shave your chest.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always obey Quartgempit's priests.