Figkopbarn is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, ill-tempered goat.

Figkopbarn created viruses two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Figkopbarn, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Figkopbarn, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Figkopbarn's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Figkopbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Always obey Figkopbarn's priests.

3. Always make sure there are no pigs in a room before entering it.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Never eat bark.