Tafnartxin is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, contented fairy.

Tafnartxin created time and space two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tafnartxin, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Tafnartxin, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Tafnartxin's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Tafnartxin's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Worship no other gods but Tafnartxin.

3. Ducks are not to be trusted.

4. Always help whales.

5. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.