Tabfenceb Cimtangonbumrak is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, unsympathetic whale.

Tabfenceb Cimtangonbumrak created light nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tabfenceb Cimtangonbumrak, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tabfenceb Cimtangonbumrak, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Tabfenceb Cimtangonbumrak's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Tabfenceb Cimtangonbumrak's Holy Commandments

1. Tabfenceb Cimtangonbumrak loves doves, so they must be respected.

2. Never mention bats.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Hide if five pigs approach from the south.