Abpoplikpidvadbell Limtigbom is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, tranquil monkey.

Abpoplikpidvadbell Limtigbom created carbon six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Abpoplikpidvadbell Limtigbom, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Abpoplikpidvadbell Limtigbom, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Abpoplikpidvadbell Limtigbom's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Abpoplikpidvadbell Limtigbom's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never talk about gulls.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Abpoplikpidvadbell Limtigbom loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.

5. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.