Sigbegsanzak is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, bad-tempered cobra.

Sigbegsanzak created matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Sigbegsanzak, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Sigbegsanzak, he will not invite you to parties.

Sigbegsanzak's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Sigbegsanzak's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Sigbegsanzak seven times a day.

2. Never hurt doves.

3. Put Sigbegsanzak first in all things.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sigbegsanzak.

5. Do not eat lemons.