Yarfutfet is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, compassionate yak.

Yarfutfet created humankind seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarfutfet, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Yarfutfet, she will turn you into a mole.

Yarfutfet's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Yarfutfet's Holy Commandments

1. Yarfutfet must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Worship no other gods but Yarfutfet.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.