Quartfumhak is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, flying donkey.

Quartfumhak created the planet Saturn six million years ago.

If you believe in Quartfumhak, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Quartfumhak, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Quartfumhak's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Quartfumhak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

2. Always help sick swans.

3. Always help aardvarks in need.

4. Always obey Quartfumhak's priests.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.