Hakrilltif is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unthoughtful fairy.

Hakrilltif created vertebrates four billion years ago.

If you believe in Hakrilltif, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hakrilltif, she will cry a lot.

Hakrilltif's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Hakrilltif's Holy Commandments

1. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate seals.

3. Erect a large gold sculpture of Hakrilltif on top of all buildings.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Run away if nine capybaras approach from the south.