Loppomart Vadhapbem is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, clever walrus.

Loppomart Vadhapbem created a charm quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Loppomart Vadhapbem, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Loppomart Vadhapbem, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Loppomart Vadhapbem's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Loppomart Vadhapbem's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat onions.

2. Do not kill frogs.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Run away from cyan dogs, for they are unholy.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.