Tadquillpodkop is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, compassionate elephant.

Tadquillpodkop created oxygen eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tadquillpodkop, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tadquillpodkop, she will turn you into a snail.

Tadquillpodkop's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Tadquillpodkop's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Put Tadquillpodkop first in all things.

4. Tadquillpodkop loves mites, so they must be respected.

5. Respect your elders.