Vigfudlistkad is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, annoying dove.

Vigfudlistkad created the cosmos three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vigfudlistkad, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Vigfudlistkad, he will turn you into a snail.

Vigfudlistkad's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Vigfudlistkad's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Vigfudlistkad three times a day.

2. Never talk about moons.

3. Vigfudlistkad loves birds, so they must be respected.

4. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Vigfudlistkad on top of all buildings.

5. Never write about asteroids.