Spaghunteen is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, merciful squirrel.

Spaghunteen created a top quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Spaghunteen, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Spaghunteen, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Spaghunteen's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Spaghunteen's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat foxes with great respect.

2. Spaghunteen loves ducks, so they must be honoured.

3. Never hurt otters.

4. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Never look in ponds.