Dabgemnulomin Gennelmitnel is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, cheerful lizard.

Dabgemnulomin Gennelmitnel created the planet Venus five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dabgemnulomin Gennelmitnel, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Dabgemnulomin Gennelmitnel, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Dabgemnulomin Gennelmitnel's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Dabgemnulomin Gennelmitnel's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat peas.

2. Never wear scarves.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. You must never eat garlic.