Kammannib is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, narcissistic bear.

Kammannib created oxygen six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kammannib, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Kammannib, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Kammannib's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Kammannib's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never paint your back pink.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Kammannib.