Vadgamgepgatjad is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, sage alligator.

Vadgamgepgatjad created a quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vadgamgepgatjad, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Vadgamgepgatjad, it will turn you into a frog.

Vadgamgepgatjad's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Vadgamgepgatjad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never hurt sheep.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ants.

4. Never talk about swans.

5. Always help cats in need.