Litjapnurtsinzenhat is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, grumpy dove.

Litjapnurtsinzenhat created silver eight million years ago.

If you believe in Litjapnurtsinzenhat, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Litjapnurtsinzenhat, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Litjapnurtsinzenhat's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Litjapnurtsinzenhat's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.