Tapcubkam is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, omniscient naga.

Tapcubkam created an up quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tapcubkam, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tapcubkam, he will refuse to believe in you.

Tapcubkam's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Tapcubkam's Holy Commandments

1. Cats are unholy and should not be approached.

2. You must love Tapcubkam.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Tapcubkam must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.