Voltamlid is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, witty bat.

Voltamlid created the Milkyway four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Voltamlid, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Voltamlid, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Voltamlid's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Voltamlid's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from black pigs, for they are unholy.

2. Never feed peanuts to goats while wearing cyan tights.

3. Always obey Voltamlid's priests.

4. Do not eat spinach.

5. Always treat sheep with great respect.